With Gabe’s birthday just passing (July 15th) I thought this would be a good time to share about his birth (and my other one in comparison). I’ve never shared them publicly before so here we go!
BEFORE I get started I just want to give a trigger warning. I’m going to talk about many things birth (c-section, loss, etc.); things I’ve experienced as well as things I haven’t. I have spoken with many mamas who have shared their stories with me though and I’m appreciative of what I have learned from them.
Gabe’s birth was today’s typical birth. I was sent to the hospital by my doctor’s office because I was starting to dilate and was having silent contractions. I was also being monitored for preeclampsia, which I did not end up having. I got there and was progressing after a two hour walk around the hospital so they admitted me. I didn’t progress much after that walk. Now, I had a plan and I was trying to stick to it but as we all know, things don’t always go as planned. I couldn’t eat so I was stressed out and hangry! I was on so many fluids that I was in the bathroom constantly. They got mad at how often I was up. Anyway, I didn’t get any rest because he was obviously getting ready to come and was in such a weird position that I was in hardcore pain. Not contraction pain, but just a constant ache in one side of my stomach that would not ease up. Long story short, the next morning my doctor broke my water to help me progress. I did, a little, but not as much as they wanted me to so of course they presented the option of pitocin because if I didn’t progress quickly enough they’d have to do a c-section. Well I wasn’t doing that so I was like alright hit me with the pitocin. If you’ve ever had that, you know it kicks things into gear real quick and those contractions are harsh. So I’m like bawling my eyes out because I hadn’t planned to get an epidural but my nurse (I loved my nurse by the way) was like, “Are you ready for the epidural now?” I was like heck yes go get that needle! The anesthesiologist came in and did the epidural for me but with my luck, he messed it up and it wore off completely in two hours so I had to have it done AGAIN. It doesn’t suck as bad the second time around, so if this ever happens to you, don’t fret. Soon after I got my second epidural, Gabe was ready to make his appearance. He was a beautiful baby. 7lbs, 1 oz of pure beauty.
Now that wasn’t the birth I wanted but it happened that way. I wanted a natural birth but I wasn’t ready for it. I wasn’t in the right state of mind and I didn’t have any support from anyone around me. Most people looked at me like I had two heads when I said I wanted a natural birth. Like, who would want to feel pain when you don’t have to? I also got the, “yeah right, wait until you’re in labor.” So, because I am me, I chose to have Joseph at a birth center. I had all the support I needed and had a peaceful, natural water birth. It was beautiful. PLEASE KEEP READING.
Both of my births were beautiful because I got to go home with a new life that I had grown and nourished with my own body. While one didn’t go as I had planned it, I still had my baby and I should have been grateful for that because some women do not get the chance to bring their babies home. Some women do not get the chance to birth their babies vaginally and have to go through an emergency c-section. Or maybe they planned a c-section because they were a high risk and that was the best option to keep mom and baby safe.
I see so many women and mothers judging each other each day for the things they have gone through or the choices they have made as parents. I USED TO BE LIKE THAT! And I hate that I was. As I have grown as a person, I have learned that it is not my choice but theirs. Or maybe they had no choice. We as mothers and parents need to support each other. It doesn’t matter if we breast feed or formula feed, we’re still feeding our babies. It doesn’t matter if we work or we stay home, we’re still taking care of our babies. It doesn’t matter if we gave birth vaginally or had a c-section, we still birthed our babies!
When I see the phrase “birth without fear” I want to shout from the mountain tops that to birth without fear means to do what is right and what is best for you as a mother and a human being. If you are afraid of the pain or feel you can’t bear it, get an epidural or other type of medicine. If you are afraid of having a c-section, research it and put your mind at ease because you never know what is going to happen during labor. If you don’t want the medicines and want to do it naturally, do your research, take classes, and get support! Mamas, don’t judge; especially if you don’t know the whole story. Lets support, encourage, and give/take advice from each other. There is enough judgement in every other aspect in this world that we have to worry about. Enjoy being a parent.
Thanks for reading! If you’ve experienced a traumatic birth, I encourage you to hop on over and read my good friend Alyssa’s post called Searching for Peace in the Unexpected. I think you will find some encouragement there. Goodnight everyone!
I can’t believe my big boy is 5!